Monday, December 29, 2014

I wish...

I wish I had never known you ever.

I wish that day when I saw you in the lawn, I'd be seeing in some other direction.

I wish I never lost my concentration.

I wish I never gave you so much importance.

I wish I had never known you.   
I wish I can now be indifferent to you.

I wish I never knew you existed.

I wish I never heard any of your boring stories.

I wish I was never around you.

I wish I had never known you.

I wish I never wished for you.

I wish I shouldn't have told you I love you.       
I wish you had some guts to speak up.

I wish you could speak the truth.

I wish you knew me.

I wish you felt what I feel.

I wish things could be my wishes' way.

I wish I wish no more.

I wish I wish I wish I never knew you.

I wish if I had only wished in all those wishes for none of these wishes then how wish fully happy I would be.

Sunday, December 28, 2014

That moment and this moment!

That night when I was scared in my dream, I went straight to my daddy and mummy and slept right in between them to feel safe and protected. To feel safe and shadowed. To know that I have two people whom I can hold on to. And the contended and peaceful heart slept and had dreams of happiness.     
This was when I was three years old and my memories are very vivid and clearly imprinted in my head.

When I became 13, mummy used to move her hand on my forehead and put me to sleep, say good night and kiss me bye. Remind me of prayers to be said before sleeping and then smiling, she put the lights off.
I was still sure that she will be around. 

Then I left home to go to a new city to start my further studies, I missed the familiarity of the two people most close to me. I tried finding that peace and security but I found neither of the two. The world overtook me and I tried to fake my strengths else the greedy world would have sucked all the goodness of me.     

I met many good friends who till time remain. But the love I was missing was in home so far away.

Home coming day was the happiest of my life. It was June 2011 and daddy was there to take me home. I was so happy and felt like I'm going back home to my first love... my parents. Life will be easy cozy and lovely because I am with them.

Standing on their bedroom door, now, I wonder, the ones who made me everything that I'm now, are so weak.
I wonder if God had not sent me to them how would they be. So weak and fragile are the ones who are my only Support. How would I stay if they are lost some way.  I try my best to help them get their health back. But indirectly I do it for myself because I love them and I feel protected in their presence so divine and pure.